the emergency room housekeeping staff jokes about what's in the squirt bottles that adorn their carts. this is the humor that the job requires. you want a squirt of this? which one is my best squirt? i'll show you. . everyone has their assigned tasks. there is a chain of command. take the temperature. draw the blood. suture the skin. swab the vomit off the floor. push the wheelchair. sign here. put that in. take that out. you will be fine. you will never be fine. none of it matters if you are not there. if you are arguing with an adolescent about the necessity of brushing their teeth; if you are pushing yourself closer to the warmth of the man in your bed; if you are scrubbing burned cheese off the dinner plates. but still--the lights glow all night. the cold seeps under the electronic doors. lives are saved and ruined. you'd never know. until it's your life. until it's all that matters.
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