cycles

sometimes when i live amongst the words, when it's just me and the music in my head and the keys under my fingers, i believe.  i really do.  it's all real to me.  as though by writing it down, it becomes true.  and, oh, what a frightening world that would be in which to live.  luckily, by the time i've packed up the computer and walked out into the day that asserts itself as--REAL, HERE, THIS WORLD, MOTHER FUCKER RUNS A RED LIGHT AND IT MIGHT JUST KILL YOU AND THEN THAT OTHER WORLD YOU'RE LIVING IN WILL BE ABSOLUTELY NO CONSOLATION TO THE KIDS--i remember.  i get it.  i know that i'm making it all up.  but then i feel a little sad.  like someone has just wrecked my sandcastle.  like the dream has been interrupted.  the candy snatched from my hand.  and i can't wait to return to the words.