Friday, February 24, 2017

A whole new world

incognito:  as hazel woods
there's too much catching up to do here, my strange friends.  
what has happened to our world?  what has happened to us?  
in addition to resisting and protesting, my advice is to go deep.  
radical transparence is not just something we should want 
from our government.  
ask it of yourself.  
i will go first:  i sold out.  i published a book i was proud of
under a pseudonym.  why?  long answer forthcoming.  
short answer:  fear.  money.  inertia.
no surprise:  it didn't go so well.  poor hazel woods' p&l
numbers are as disappointing as as meg mullins'.
guess what?  i finally don't give a fuck.
but, i did take an entire year off from writing.
and i did something on my bucket list.
i started a handmade napkin biz.
i loved it.  the napkins are dreamy. (please, don't order any)
turns out, i'm almost as terrible selling napkins
as i am selling books.
so, now what?
i've circled the wagons around 
the boring, predictable, sensitive part
of myself who thinks about success
as some kind of balmy, palm-treed place one reaches
instead of a daily pursuit of kindness and creativity and utility 
and i'm writing.

and i'm trying to laugh at djt.  because i'm guessing
that's what he hates the most.  being taken seriously
is part of the con.  his policies and atrocities are serious and
must be opposed.  but the man?  what a joke.

Tuesday, February 23, 2016

be soft. do not let the world make you hard. do not let pain make you hate. 
do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. 
take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, 
you still believe 
it to be a beautiful place.

-kurt vonnegut

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

I'm thinking a lot about time. About the green hills from my childhood summers. Those horses standing atop the hills, whose immense bodies and warm breaths made my smallness smaller. Where do those moments live now? Intuitively I know that they are not gone. Nothing disappears. They exist in my mysterious brain until they don't. And then?  The world vanished with us.  We take it, piece by piece, to the silent place.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

When you sit on the park bench in the middle of walking the dog, and a strong breeze tumbles a load of crisp, papery elm seeds at you, have you just interrupted fate?  Have you become that terrible accident of nature that prevents some tender unplanted tree from becoming its intended self? 

Friday, February 28, 2014

why do you look at me with such disgust every time i try to actually parent you?

because it's exactly what i'm supposed to do.

why do you have to do exactly what you're supposed to do?

it's programmed.  or you taught me to.

when i was parenting you back in the days when that didn't make you mad?

pretty much.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

This article in the Times sort of blew my mind.  Mainly because I am so far away from mathematics, and apparently it is the universe's one true thing.  Whoops.  How can those of us who are not mathemeticians spend our time pursuing completely unprovable truths?  Working to express a unique truth upon which none is meant to agree?  I mean, really.  If mathematics is the truth upon which our system is built, then I am peddling snake oil.  YES!

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one you in all time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost.  The world will not have it.  It is not your business to determine how good it is; nor how valuable it is; nor how it compares to other expressions.
-Martha Graham to Agnes DeMille

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Are you a hack?  Does this question haunt you?  Does it make you silent for a year? If so, do you also find yourself wondering if, really, there is anything inherently bad about hacks?  Aren’t some of them kind and funny and sometimes smell good?  Aren't some of them not exactly a blossom, but a little pink glove?  And who's to say which one is better?  What if all those folks who claim to know who exactly the hacks are not, are hacks themselves?  

I heard George Saunders read last night.  My takeaway:  whether or not you're a hack doesn't really matter.  Just know that the only path to originality is the one that cuts straight through your own heart.  If it's not painful, you're probably taking a short cut through somebody else's heart.