Tuesday, December 27, 2011


we all know how lucky we are, right?  even when the atm receipt shows negative $17 and the house is rank with the post christmas blues.  even when there hasn't been a word written in days and the heater breaks down and the dog's teeth are covered in putrid plaque.  even when the moon is a sliver of beauty that hardly gets noticed and the best time is right now, but you're thinking about later.  because luck is spiteful and doesn't like to go unnoticed.  luck will change itself just for sport--just to watch you wish for what you already had.

Friday, December 16, 2011

the emergency room housekeeping staff jokes about what's in the squirt bottles that adorn their carts.  this is the humor that the job requires.  you want a squirt of this?  which one is my best squirt?  i'll show you. . everyone has their assigned tasks.  there is a chain of command.  take the temperature.  draw the blood.  suture the skin.  swab the vomit off the floor.  push the wheelchair.  sign here.  put that in.  take that out.  you will be fine.  you will never be fine.  none of it matters if you are not there.  if you are arguing with an adolescent about the necessity of brushing their teeth; if you are pushing yourself closer to the warmth of the man in your bed; if you are scrubbing burned cheese off the dinner plates.  but still--the lights glow all night.  the cold seeps under the electronic doors.  lives are saved and ruined.  you'd never know.  until it's your life.  until it's all that matters.  

image found here

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


all around me there are old women and men sitting in their chairs, thinking about how easy it used to be to tie shoelaces, drive a car, brew a coffee, protest the rent increase, crack a joke, or comfort a lover.  now everything is hard.  even eating without choking.  remember to chew, honey.  this from a girl who even at twenty-two doesn't know how to line her lips without looking like a whore.  or maybe they all want to look like whores these days.  whores from another planet with landing strips between their legs and computer screens in their back pockets.  another thing that's become nearly impossible:  understanding what it is people want.

image found here