Sunday, January 29, 2012

i have no training in this field.  no experience with being so desperately in love with such a wretched adolescent creature.

do not remember your own self, dark and passionate and angry.  it will only make the job harder.  it will only make you love her a little bit more for her grand pronouncements and vitriolic moods.  though you must catch her in her lies, you would like to turn away.  catch a movie, grab a sandwich, drive through the car wash with the radio blasting.  but you live beside the fear, the memory, of how it could all go bad.  really bad.  on your watch.

i want too much from the job.  i want her to like me.  i want her to be good.  but sometimes she hates me.  and sometimes she's rotten. 

you still have to feed her and love her and let her spill the messy contents of her heart all over you.  and you have to pretend that it doesn't faze you.  that you're not bothered by the gore.  and when it's quiet, when the coast is clear, you can make a mad dash for mexico. . .

image found here

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

we are such beasts.  really.  just a good rub down and a clean bowl of water.  a convivial smile and a leisurely walk.  nice bright patches of sunlight in which to nap and plenty of time to poop.  rewards for good work and a dinner on time.  who are we kidding?  happy new year.